What is an overrated relationship?
Sometimes, in difficult moments of life, there are people who surprisingly ease our suffering. The pain decreases. Such a person may not even think that he has done something super important for us, he just took care of us at the right moment. He accepted us with all our problems, and there was such trust and even understanding between him and us that we had never received from anyone in our adult lives.
That's how a big trap arises in a relationship, which people confuse with love. It looks like a strong attachment, or dependence, and may be interpreted by some as a true friendship. Whatever you call it, the meaning of such a relationship is that the savior person becomes very significant, very valuable and insanely wants to please him so that the relationship does not break. There is no freedom in such a relationship, because the desires and tastes of the savior person become a priority, and the whole task is to behave in the right way and not spoil the relationship, not scare away the dear person.
In such a relationship, the driven partner, who is afraid to break up, completely loses the freedom to choose and make decisions, serving their desires. There is a fear that a valuable person will not accept our personal choice and will refuse to follow us on our path. And then the terrible thing will happen — he will leave. At the same time, trying to adjust, guess and please all the time, we lose the meaning of our own lives and live according to someone else's scenario. Our life loses its spontaneity and joy, we only engage in capturing the moods of another person and mirroring his feelings, forgetting about our own, or often just hiding them deeper.
Unpleasant changes are also taking place with our valued partner. He feels that they are trying to please him and does not quite understand why this is happening. At first, he accepts our special affection for him, but over time, he begins to be annoyed by our excessive care and too much attention to his problems. He also sees that the person next to him is somehow inanimate: he has almost no worries of his own, hobbies outside of work and relationships, all activity in his spare time takes place around another partner. And of course, such a fixated partner starts to annoy and after a while just gets bored.
The goal of a relationship is not to find the right person and keep them around for as long as possible. The purpose and meaning of any relationship is the development of both participants. And if one is developing, and the other is only engaged in its maintenance and stopped himself because he considers himself less important than the partner, then such a relationship will not last long, and will fall apart with mutual accusations and conflicts.
In addition, any relationship should not be based on the fear that one of the partners will leave. There should be a mutual desire for compromises and agreements, and intimacy does not arise from fear of loss, but is motivated to give positive emotions to a partner, and mutually. Relationships are in a sense work, but not hard labor, but creative, which should be a joy for both people. Join slot tournaments with
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